BARED OF BEAUTY

How does body shaming change a person?
Or, how much does it change a person's perspective of themselves?
Do you hear their confidence shattering?
Do you see self hatred looming in their eyes?

How many of us have been subjected to constant unsolicited reminders from friends, family, colleagues and even total strangers about how our body could be "thinner", to "work" on that waist and make it a little "slimmer", to try and "reduce" or "increase" the size of those breasts, to put on "weight" and "look healthier", to make that butt a little "firmer", to "tone down" that a body a bit......all so that you could finally fit in and be deemed "attractive" or "beautiful" in the eyes of a society that sets unattainable standards of beauty by manipulating and brainwashing the mass for mainstream beauty businesses to grow. 

I personally have been forever shamed and taunted even by my closest family for not having a popping butt; therefore lacking a "feminine trait", my deep set eyes, my big frizzy hair, my gap-toothed smile, my thick coarse body hair, my "mustache" and what not.Growing up, the size of my breasts bothered them; I was often called "disproportionate" with breasts too big for a tiny frame,the freckles scattered all over my body and face was found unappealing, my dusky pigmented skin was displeasing in a world that found "fair as lovely".

Every part of my body carried the weight of  displeasure that I tirelessly tried to "fix". I spent all my life searching for ways to "cover and correct" the "flaws" that were pointed out to me. I spent sleepless nights scanning the virtual world for ways and remedies to "become fair", tried countless methods to get rid of my natural body hair;lest it bothered the eyes that saw them. I tried dressing down so that my body would look more "proportionate". I grew tired of all the things that were wrong with me, all the things I failed at fixing; not realizing what needed fixing wasn't my body but the twisted, insular, belittling, narrow minds of the society.

But do these people realize the extent of damage they cause with each snide comment? Do these people understand how small they make people feel all because their looks don't meet the "prescribed ideas of beauty"? Can they erase the shame they cause people when they look in the mirror and all they can see and feel is self loathing? Can they undo the extreme sense of inferiority they make people feel?

CAN YOU TAKE AWAY THE PAIN I FELT EACH TIME I FACED MYSELF IN THE MIRROR? CAN YOU WIPE AWAY THE WOUNDS THAT YOU CAUSED? CAN YOU RUB AWAY THE SCARS OF TRAUMA?

I have outgrown the people including my family and their hidebound concepts of  external beauty. I have realized that beauty is an overrated illusion; an idea sold to us by capitalist business tycoons and beauty industries to thrive by feeding off the insecurities of human minds. I have stopped searching for "beauty" as I realized that beauty is omnipresent.You can see it in everything, everywhere; only if you have the eye and heart for it. I don't want beautiful thoughts, beautiful ideas, beautiful things, beautiful relationships or beautiful people anymore....I want what's real; ruthlessly real, raw, unfiltered, stripped off the mask of "beauty", bare and blistered.

It takes immense courage to face the world each day, to drown the noise of criticism, to suppress self doubt from creeping in and put on a face of confidence. But sometimes, even something trivial can shatter all that in a split second and there you go spiraling downwards... till you reach the rock bottom.